


Daily Shit 1

by ifoundadeadmall



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse)
Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 13:44:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18074498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifoundadeadmall/pseuds/ifoundadeadmall
Summary: Nathan trusted Wade to pay the rent but Wade needed a new revolver. Guess what happened next? He got a new fucking revolver, obviously.





	Daily Shit 1

Wade and Nathan were in the middle of a shootout with a couple of corrupt cops, caught in the act of planting coke on someone. After ducking behind an abandoned car and reloading, shit started to go downhill. 

Firstly, his arm was shredded from a shotgun that made gory confetti from his cancer ridden limb. 

Secondly, his revolver jammed.

**Fuck**  
_Fuck_  
"Fuck," Wade muttered and began desperately shaking it. 

The biggest problem was the latter because this wasn't just a revolver; this was his pride and fucking joy. Before he could continue banging the gun against the concrete, he was yanked from reality by a familiar voice.  
"Huh..?" he said, visibly distraught.  
"Hey!" Nathan shouted. He was tense and surprisingly concerned. "Can you give me a grenade before you continue fucking up the only decent gun you have?"  
Wade smiled under his mask, pulled the pins on three grenades, and threw them blindly into the direction of the shower of bullets.  
"...Or just do that," Nathan sighed as debris and dust fell on them. 

While his arm began to heal and they sat there exhausted, Wade broke the silence as usual.  
"So, Mr. Straight Shooter, how does it feel that I keep kicking more ass than you as of late?" Wade poked.  
"At least I came out with both arms," Nathan shot back  
"Well..." Wade said, raising one eyebrow at his metal appendage.  
"Shut up," Nathan said before grunting as he got up. 

_At least yours will grow back_  
**Do you think he'll still be down to fuck tonight? I kind of want to top.**  
_Well, considering the fact that you made fun of the best sex toy in the world, we might miss out._

Wade winced as he saw Nathan begin to walk away. 

-

Wade was surprised when he was given the envelope with the rent money in it. From Nathan's expression of pure defeat, he must already know this was risky. While waiting for the coffee maker to finish it's daily task, Nathan only said a couple things before Wade finished getting dressed.  
"If you don't pay the fucking rent I will personally beat the shit out of you, Wade," he said, looking at the pot impatiently.  
"Kinky," Wade said cheerfully.  
"Also pick up some milk," Nathan said. Wade finally zipped up his trusty black hoodie before kissing Nathan on the cheek and heading to the door.  
"And for fuck's sake, be safe babe," Nathan added.  
Wade turned back to him and winked before opening the door.  
"Love you too, hard-ass," he said, smiling. 

****____****__-_ _ ** ** _ _ _ _ ** **

********________********__He really wanted to pay rent.  
He _needed _to pay rent.__  
But, fucking hell, he also needed a new gun.  
After much debate (and walking back and forth in front of the pawn shop), he finally got the most bad-ass gun he'd ever seen. It was a shiny Ruger revolver with it's serial number scratched off. It was fucking beautiful. It was also twelve hundred dollars. 

********________********________**Fuck ******  
_Fuck ___  
"Fuck," Wade muttered.  
Before he could chew on his poor impulse control a little longer he heard a scream a couple of blocks down.  


_I guess it's time for a test drive._

  
-

After sneaking back into the apartment, covered in blood and dirt, he heard a shuffle from the bedroom.  
"I already paid it," Nathan muttered, calmly reading on the bed and staying completely still as Wade stood in the doorway.  
"I-"  
"Got a new gun" Nathan interrupted. "I can read minds, asshole,"  
At this point, Wade was already stripping down to his underwear and emptying his pockets of bullets and his new weapon of choice.  
"If you at least get the milk I'll _consider_ doing something tonight," At this point Nathan was looking Wade straight in his eyes.  
"Wait, really?" Wade said, almost too excitedly.  
"If I have to repeat myself, you can jack off on your own again," Nathan growled as he turned back to his book.

Wade had never bought a gallon of milk so quickly in his life.


End file.
